A Crowthorne pensioner woken by noises in her bathroom discovered a burglar with his testicles impaled on a broken window.

It wasn’t surprising 80 year old Joyce Edwards was woken as the burglar was screaming in pain. When Joyce went to investigate, the burglar yelled he was dying but her angry reply before running away was “Good”, reported the Sun newspaper.

Joyce may have been on the ball but 90 year old husband Leslie is deaf and has had a stroke so could not have done much if the burglar got in.

The hapless burglar had made a balls up of the break in by slipping after trapping his head while opening the small top window of the bathroom at the couple’s bungalow. The bungling burglar then crashed though the large frosted window below.

Joyce alerted neighbours, who dialled 999 said the Sun. The thief may have lost up to four pints of blood.

The burglar was treated in hospital, where medics refused to say whether he had lost either of his testicles. A 35-year-old man from Finchampstead, Berkshire, was later arrested and charged.

Although Joyce may have sounded a bit cold-hearted she did the right thing by leaving straight away and getting help from neighbours. It’s never a good idea to confront burglars.

Police advice is to secure all downstairs windows with key locks. A burglar can crawl though any window big enough to get his head through. Window locks can be obtained that allow ventilation too.