New research reveals that writing a will or dealing with the execution of one has lead to upset and resentment for one in 10 UK families, and resulted in members of one in 20 families (4%) never speaking to each other again.

Blood is definitely not thicker than water for some - one in seven (14%) people have deliberately excluded a member of their immediate family from their will, with one in 20 (5%) leaving one of their siblings out.

According to Skipton Building Society, while wills are leading to family feuds for some, the problem could be much worse for the millions of Britons who, are avoiding the subject altogether and leaving decisions about inheritance and guardianship to chance.

The research revealed the majority of adults (55%) have not made a will, and while will avoidance is perhaps to be expected among the younger generation, more than a quarter of over 55s (26%) are yet to decide what they want to happen to their estate after their death.

The British sense of reserve could well be the culprit for some of the family strife – we seem to be highly secretive about our posthumous wishes. A third (32%) of those who have made a will keep its contents secret and one in five (20%) state that they would never discuss their will with any of their relatives.

Reasons for failing to bequeath their most treasured assets and possessions are many and varied. Of those who haven’t yet made a will, 42% have simply never got round to it, a laid back one in 10 (9%) claim to live for the moment and don’t tend to think about the future, and 9% of the procrastinators say that making a will seems really complicated.

Psychologist, David Moxon commented: "Psychologically speaking, it is really important to make a will. As well as making sure your estate is divided how you want it to be and specifying who becomes guardian of any children, it can also provide the opportunity to have sincere and meaningful conversations with loved ones, strengthening relationships and for some, possibly mending bridges. From an evolutionary perspective, making a will allows a person to experience a sense of closure on their affairs – part of you and your possessions can live on."

"My recommendation is that people are open and honest with their family, letting them know to whom they plan to bequeath their assets – doing this will reduce the number of disputes when the will is executed, and it will no doubt improve the quality of family interactions."

Jennifer Holloway, head of media relations at Skipton Building Society, said: "There’s a misconception that a will is complicated, involving lots of trips to the solicitor with a big bill at the end. But unless someone has very complex wishes, making sure your estate passes to exactly who you want couldn’t be easier."

"Will writing packs are now freely available – we even offer them in our branches – and can take as little as half an hour to fill in. Tackling this sensitive subject now could really make a difference, especially where large amounts of assets are involved, and avoid a family feud at a time which is stressful enough."

Psychologist David Moxon’s advice for avoiding family feuds:

• Talk to the recipients of your estate before you actually make the will. Include them in the planning process then you will get a feeling of their expectations and anxieties.
• Talk to the recipients of your estate individually. Try to avoid family group discussions as these could potentially lead to conflict.
• Use discussions about your will to explain why you are leaving what you are to your loved ones. They will feel valued and appreciated and also understand why certain things mean so much to you.
• Try not to make will discussions too melancholy. Think of them as a necessity rather than a chore.