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What you are told |
What you are not told |
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The house has a lovely view |
Yes but what is that blot on the landscape (Is it a market garden with miles of poly-tunnel?) |
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The house is rurally situated |
True, but it is close to a smelly chicken farm which is bad news when the prevailing westerly wind blows from the east |
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The house is close to a top school |
Yes, but it’s directly on the rat run and the tranquillity experienced on Saturdays turns to a nose to tail rumble of traffic twice a day |
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The house overlooks the river and benefits from fishing rights |
Local knowledge dictates that the river floods frequently |
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The house overlooks the sea |
True, but the windows need weekly cleaning because of the salt spray |
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The house is close to transport links |
But you can hear the train hooting |
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The house is described as being bijou |
It is very pokey and dark |
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The house has four bedrooms |
It does but two are tiny singles |
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The garden is a notable feature |
It is a fine garden but we estimate that the lawns will take three hours to mow each week |
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The house is centrally heated |
Yes it is but there is no mains gas so the house is heated by expensive heating oil or LPG |
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The house was modernised in the seventies |
True, but the décor is fading and the bathroom suits are in lilac |